My plane leaves this afternoon, and tomorrow morning I will be in Paris. and my posts may no longer be in English.
The hours leaving up to my departure are always a frantic scramble to make sure I have everything packed while also trying not to cry. I’m realllllly emotional, especially if my mom cries—and what mom doesn’t cry when her daughter is going to a foreign country alone for the first time for such an extended period? My mom cried when I left for a week trip in high school.
so…so long, farewell, I’d hate to say adieu…
what is it you ask? heavens no I’m not giving up cigarettes (and yes I think smoking is a filthy habit) and no I’m not an alcoholic (farrrr from it if you know me). so what is it?
well, it is definitely an addiction: this past year I’ve had more and more because my tolerance level went up, and I needed more to be satisfied. oh sure, I felt bad afterwards, but I was mostly in denial. it wasn’t until today, when I was inside BCBG and I couldn’t fit into yet another dress that I realized: enough. who am I to say I want to be a model when I don’t even have the willpower to say no to sweets? less than a year ago I was in bomb shape! almost 15 pounds later and I can’t deny it anymore.
I NEED TO STOP! and I am not good at moderation, I’m a person of various extremes. so no cookies, cakes, brownies, ice cream ANYTHING sweet/carby/creamy. I will treat all such things as if I’m allergic, or better, diabetic. I might as well be for all the harm they do to me and my so called goals/dreams/aspirations.
I’m gonna start with a week, but my goal is to go for a month. and by then, I think my taste buds will be back to normal. I exercise like a fiend, so I know that as soon as I have made up my mind, my body will start drastically changing and by August, I plan on being one HAWT Angel. just watch me.